Mother's Day is just a few days away (honey this is your reminder) and I will be celebrating my third mother's day. This is the third time that I can say--since we began the journey to parenthood-- that I'm excited about it. I remember that not being the case. I remember sobbing uncontrollably in the shower one mother's day & wondering if I'd ever get there. I remember how hard it was to put a fake smile on my face and walk into church and see all the mom's with their children in their arms. My arms were empty and my heart was even more empty. It was so depressing and I was so angry. I couldn't understand it, but I wasn't supposed to. Now it's different. Because of the gift J's first mommy gave me, my heart is exploding every day. Some days I'm exhausted, most days in fact, but I feel so blessed. I celebrate J's first mommy each mother's day & never forget what she's done for me. I also think about those who sob in the shower as I did. I pray for several friends who are on pins & needles waiting for that call and wondering when their turn is coming. I think about those who get shots each and every day to prepare their bodies for their next round of fertility treatments. I never forget about the journey and pain it took to hold my little boy in my arms. I will always be thankful for the rain, because it always brings a rainbow. I'm grateful for every tear I cried in the shower because now every day is mother's day. God is good. His plan is perfect. Sometimes we question his timing, but now I can look back and say God was right. He knew my rainbow would arrive, I just had to trust him.
No comments:
Post a Comment