God runs this show

When I was a little girl I had dreams of what my life would be like.  I would drive a Porsche, get married to prince charming,  live in a mansion, have a dog and then have 2 children.  At least that is what would happen every time I'd play the game MASH.  It's funny how you think of life as a kid.  You never imagine that life will throw a curveball into your "dream life." 
When I reflect on where life has taken me over the past 33 years, I can't help but thank God.  He has tested me for sure.  He's given me struggles and pain, but He's given me incredible joy after it.  It makes me think more and more about the power of faith.  
When we began our journey to parenthood in 2008 I couldn't ever imagine we'd have such difficulties.   Afterall, I believed that my husband and I were a couple so in love that God would give us a child.   I never pictured I would have to wait so long.  Then after years of trying the old fashioned way we turned to fertility treatments.   This was a road I never thought I'd even consider.  I didn't want to play God, however I wanted a child, so I was bound and determined to get pregnant.   Many years of doctors and many years of negative pregnancy tests was a true test of my faith in God.  I found myself questioning Him all the time.  I was so focused on pregnancy that I never stepped back and looked at what God WAS doing in my life.  He had a plan that was so much better and greater then mine, but I never took the time to actually let His plan work for my life.  It wasn't until 2012 and the weeks leading up to our final frozen embryo transfer, that I actually reflected on God's plan.  I was being lead more and more towards adoption.  God was softening my heart and opening my eyes to how wonderful adoption could be in our lives.  We welcomed our sweet boy into our family in the spring of 2013, and in doing so we welcomed his birth family too.  We have gained an extended family.  I cannot begin to explain the love we have in our hearts for his birth parents.   God's plan still gives me goosebumps.   I cannot believe this is my life.  I am able to be home with him,  be the wife God wants me to be, and join a wonderful bible study group of moms.  I cannot imagine becoming a mom any other way.  I am a mom, a wife to my prince charming, I drive an SUV, don't live in a mansion (but it is my dream home), I have a very old dog, and I have a beautiful 18 month old son.  We hope to have one more through adoption, but are waiting on God's perfect plan.  After all,  He runs my life.  I give Him control.  I used to sit in the drivers seat, but now I'm the passenger and I try not to be a backseat driver.  The game of MASH was somewhat accurate,  but there should have been a spot that said "God runs this show."