To the little girl I was before infertility

To the girl I was before infertility,
  You have big plans for yourself.  Sometimes when you play barbies, you picture what life will be like when you grow up.  You'll meet your prince, get married, buy a house, have babies and live happily ever after.  Your story will be a great one, but it will have a lot of twists and turns along the way.   You will meet your prince charming, he will look so cute driving his orange pick up truck to school each day and will pass you love notes in the hallways at your small town high school.  Years down the road, when you are packing for a move across country, you will find those love notes and read them to eachother.  You will laugh so hard you almost pee your pants.  It will be great.
Then you will buy a house, it will be the house that you start a family in.  You will be so excited.   You start picking out baby names and writing them down to pass the time when driving on the long road trips to visit your families.  Your husband will just look at road signs and start calling out silly names like "Gas Lee" or "Diesel Fuel". Little do you know, that  list you saved will one day bring you to your knees in tears when you find it tucked away in a drawer.   You see, young lady, your road to motherhood will be a roller coaster ride.  Trust me when I tell you, it will all work out as it's supposed to.  Your husband will become the strongest man you know and will pick you up off the floor when you feel like you can't.   He will be helping give, what feels like thousands of shots, so that you might achieve pregnancy.  It will not work, and when it doesn't,  you will be so angry.  You will scream and throw things.  You will question God and his motives.  You will cry so many tears, you'd think you couldn't cry anymore. Afterwards,  you will put on your big girl pants, release all your anger and put your trust in God.  There will come a point when you and your husband embrace God's plan.  Your faith will become stronger and you will start to see the bigger plan.  You will become the mother of the most amazingly,  sweet, and curious little boy.  You will bring his birth family into your lives and it will be the most wonderful blessing.   All of this will happen and you will be on the other side of infertility.   Yes it will still be there.  That won't change, but your plans will.  While you are busy making plans for your life, God is busy making better plans.  So little girl, please don't be discouraged.   God knows what He's doing. You will live happily ever after.

Open adoption is a God thing

Several times this week I've found myself texting someone who used to be a complete stranger.  Now we have an on going,  ever changing relationship.   These people will be in our lives until the day we die.  Sometimes it's small talk and other times it's emotional conversation.   It's a relationship we never thought was possible, or honestly I thought I'd ever be comfortable with.  This relationship began when my husband and I decided to put our personal feelings aside and focus on what was important for our son.  When we began the adoption process we were very hesitant to give out our personal information.  There was no way I would want perfect strangers to know my last name, town we lived in, let alone our address!  If you would've told me that soon we'd share phone numbers and have them over to our house, I would've told you you're crazy! But for the second year in a row, that will happen.  One month from today our son will turn two.  TWO!  How did that happen?  It still doesn't seem possible.  When we celebrate his birthday there will be extra people there who love our son like crazy.  His birth grandparents.   I have been told on several occasions how wonderful we are for "allowing" them in his life.  That bugs me hearing it now, but sadly not too long ago, I was scared of open adoption.  Now I think why wouldn't we accept them into our lives?  We are simply keeping the people who loved our son, before we even knew about him, involved in his life. They trusted US!  PERFECT STRANGERS, to come into their lives and be our son's parents for the rest of his life!  That's a God thing right there!  If you don't believe God exists,  then you probably have never experienced a goosebumps moment of having your child's first mother place her child in your arms. She then tells him, "she's your mommy, and she'll take great care of you."  God moment.  They are so happy to be able to watch him grow and we are so happy that they can.  Open adoption is wonderful.  I highly recommend it.  Afterall, who doesn't want there children to be extra loved?  I sure do.