Tuesday, July 7, 2015

All the "firsts"

  When you think about having a baby, you think about pregnancy, labor, the hospital stay, the baby name, nursing your newborn and much more, at least I did. Adoption is different.   I didn't experience  any of that.  I didn't  feel baby kicks or see ultrasounds or hear his first cries. I didn't have my husband holding my hand during contractions.  But you  know what?  That's  ok.  No, my road to parenthood is not the way I expected it to happen. It happened the way it was supposed to.  I didn't experience those things because I  wasn't supposed to.  We have a different experience that many don't get the joy of experiencing.   My husband was still there holding my hand as tears filled my eyes when my son was placed in my arms for the first time.  He then hugged our son's first mommy with tear filled eyes.  All the stuff I thought was so important when I thought about parenthood is nothing compared to the joy you have when you do hold your child for the first time.  Whether your child is seconds, minutes, months or years old when you first hold them in your arms, doesn't make you any less of a mom.  I am still the mommy he cries for when he needs an owie kissed or a hug.  I'm  still the mommy who takes him to the ER when he's sick and plays with him when he's not. I'm the mommy that gets to experience the joy in his eyes when he sees his favorite truck drive by. I'm also the mommy who gets to snuggle him right now as he sleeps on me.  It doesn't matter how you become a parent, what matters is what you do to help your child grow into the man/woman God wants them to be.
Adoption has taught me to appreciate  every second of this sweet boy.  He came into our life exactly how he was supposed to at 4 weeks old.  No we didn't name him,  but his name means gift from God.  Coincidence?   Doubt it.
So for all of my friends who are waiting to adopt and are worried about all the "firsts" they might miss, remember that your story is written as it should be.  No matter what, the first time you hold your child it will  be the best feeling ever! My mom, who is the wisest woman I know, told me once that you don't have to give birth to be a mom,  being a mom comes from your heart. My heart is exploding.