What I've learned from Infertility

On almost a daily basis and because of my openness about my infertility struggles,  I encounter women who deal with the demon of infertility.   Each of us cope with it differently.   Most of us are angry and all of us can't understand why we are going through it.  I am not going to sugar coat this entry.  Infertility SUCKS!  It is equivalent to the devil.  If there was a curse word to describe it, it would be the nastiest curse word.  It causes you to feel emotions and bitterness that you never imagined you could feel. It makes you angry at every pregnant woman you see, including your own family members.  It causes you to question your faith and gives you feelings of anger towards God for allowing this to happen. Many who've never experienced it will tell you, as they did me, that there are worse things.   Yes that's true.  Infertility won't kill you, so yes I guess they're right.  But without a family, some people feel so incredibly empty inside and it can lead to bigger issues. Depending on their diagnosis, Infertility can cause physical pain each month, which is also a constant reminder to them about their inability to conceive.  I was fortunate enough to have a large infertility support group who understood exactly how I was feeling.  We also found a great group of doctors and nurses who helped us emotionally.  Through it all, we ultimately decided that we wanted to be parents and adoption was our path.  The path we were destined to take from the beginning.  It wasn't an easy road, it was just as difficult.   Just a different kind of difficult. I still think about my infertility and how it has affected me.  I wouldn't change a thing because it's formed me into the wife, mother, sister, daughter & friend that I am today.   But through it all, I am able to look back at the years we struggled to conceive and learn from them.  I've learned so much from infertility.  It was a constant reminder that I was not in charge.  I couldn't control what my body did, no matter how many IVF cycles we did.  It taught me patience.   Lots and lots of patience.  So many times I wanted to hurry things up so that I could see the end result. I learned slowly, very very slowly,  that it didn't work that way. It has helped me understand the women who come to me for support.   I am there to listen and pray with them.  I will share my experience a million times if it means that our story will help just 1 person who struggles.  Infertility has taught me so much.  Most importantly it's taught me to trust God.   He decided how we became parents and gave me infertility so that I would fully understand the pain of it all.  Afterall, unless you've walked in someone's shoes, you can't fully understand.   I've walked in some pretty large infertility shoes, I may have tripped and fallen along the way, but God helped me up. He'll help you too.  Just take his hand and let him lead the way.