A letter to my son's first mommy

To the beautiful woman who gave my son life, you may not know it, or maybe you do, I think about you every day.  To the sweet girl who put her emotions aside, despite her pain and fear,  to make the most difficult decision of her life, and in turn, allow me to be a mother, I thank you. 

Sometimes you cross my mind a hundred times a day.  I wonder how you are or what you're doing.  Each day when I pick our son up out of his crib and kiss his cheek, I think of you.  When he runs to grab the blue bear and yellow crocheted blanket, that you so lovingly handed to me the day you placed him in my arms, I think of you.  When I'm washing dishes and look up to see him playing trucks on the floor, or throwing cars across the room, I think of you.  When he is crying because his teeth are bugging him or he isn't feeling well, I think of you. When I'm kissing owies and bandaging scraped knees, I think of you. When we practice saying your name and he says it with a smile, I think of you.  When we read our bible stories and pray for you at night, I think of you. Every minute of every day I think of you. When I feel like I'm messing up and not doing the greatest job, I think of you.

I think about how much of a blessing it is that you trusted me enough to be his mommy.  Sometimes I still cannot believe it!  I want you to know that I will always love you fully and unconditionally.  You will always be on my mind.  I look at our son and I see you.  You have created a beautiful little boy.  He is proud of his first mommy and what you are doing in your life.  I hope that you are proud of the little boy we are raising him to be.  I hope you're proud of me.  When I look at the mother that I've become, I think of you.